I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
