well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
