Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
