Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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