two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
