billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
PANTIES FOUND
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