Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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