My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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