it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
