somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
