I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
