He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
