dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
