She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
