The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
