I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
organizing the empties. That sober.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
