I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
