just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
