That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize