just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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