its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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