pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
