I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
