I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
