I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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