Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
