a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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