is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
