So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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