So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
