Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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