So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
