I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
