4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's just so happy...and so naked.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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