watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
