Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
