im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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