Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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