Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The air was thick with penises
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Drake has all the answers
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
