your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
