Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
