I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
