He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
