I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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