No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
