If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His hands were made for my vagina.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
