better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
