I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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