Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we're making bets on your personal life
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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