Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
