you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
